in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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