haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
