You really coming over, don't trick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
