We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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