I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
