i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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