its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
