She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
