After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
They should really pass out barf bags in church
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
