He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
