just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
