who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
