I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
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