Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
