We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
