discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
