No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no you cant smoke seaweed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A+ Viking dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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