i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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