last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
