R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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