he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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