we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
