i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
