i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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