You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just gargled with NyQuil
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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