That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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