I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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