I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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