Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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