His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
