Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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