I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
