She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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