I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
