cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
