i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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