all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
