we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Two words: nipple clamps
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