I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
do herpes really smell.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
