did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
