It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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