You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
