You work out of a Hotel?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
