youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
