Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
