He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
