They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
