I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
