I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
