Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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