I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
