There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
