She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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